Bio je oblačan dan. Jedan od onih izdajničkih, da nikad ne
znaš da li će izaći sunce ili udariti munje i gromovi. Avion je bio skoro
prazan. Bila sam previše uzbudjena da bi se ičega sem toga sećala. I, nažalost,
uvek prisutan osećaj da sam sama. I hiljadu pitanja. Da li ću se snaći? Da li
ću ikada pod tudjim nebom biti srećna? Da li će me ugrejati tudje sunce? I sama sam sebi tada bila
stranac. Zalutala u sopstvenoj koži. Imala sam previše razloga da brinem, da je
skala okrenula 360 stepeni i vratila se na početak, tako da sam bila bezbrižna.
Po principu: Ako preživim, preživim.
Stigla sam na Taksim. Bio je haos pred izbore. Mladi su išli
obučeni u bele majice sa likovima lidera, držali su neke transparente i ja sam
se našla medju njima sa svojih nekoliko kofera koji su imali više kilograma od
mene. Taksista, naravno, nije znao engleski. Ledila mi se krv u žilama od te atmosfere
I od nemira u vazduhu. I nemira u meni. On je uvek bio tu da me ubedi da nam je stan blizu, da stižemo za pet
minuta.
Bio je to veliki grad za mene. Dovoljno veliki za sve moje nade, sumnje, strahove, za sve
moje promene raspolozenja, za sreću i suze. Za svačije. Plašila sam se ko ću
postati ovde. I tako je počeo ostatak mog života. Prvim korakom na Taksimu. Bilo
je sunčano. Ubrzo sam se zaljubila u grad.
Clouds. One of those days when you don’t know whether to
expect sun or lightening. The plane was almost empty. I was too excited and
overwhelmed to remember anything. And there it was… the feeling that I was
alone. And thousand questions. Just a huge mess in my head. Am I gonna be able
to find my way? Am I ever gonna be happy there? I felt I was a stranger in my
own skin. Just lost. I had too many reasons to worry, so that the scale turned
around, 360 degrees, so I wasn’t worried at all. Overthinking.
Arrived at Taksim. It was hectic before the elections. Young
people were dressed in white T-shirts with their leaders on it and I was among
them with my luggage that was heavier than me. Taxi driver, of course, didn’t
speak a word of English. I was freaking out in that atmosphere. You could feel
tension everywhere. And inside me. He was always there to convince me that our
flat was in the neighbourhood, that we were gonna be there in 5 minutes.
Enormous city. It was big enough to blow my mind, and to
host all my hopes, fears, doubts, mood swings, happiness on one side and tears
on the other side. I was afraid who I was gonna become here.
And that is how the rest of my life begun. First step on
Taxim and I fell in love withe the city. Sun was there, as well.
Enjoy your journey lifelovers and world travellers,
Ana <3
Ana <3
